Cerebral Combustion
It's a Girl!
I was like a warrior going to battle. Only I was a soldier whose strength is waning and the only weapon I need is courage. I have finally reached the crux of the concluding moment of my pregnancy and suddenly, as I was engulfed with ecstatic anticipation, a fraction of the excitement became fear.
I started to feel a tinge of pain an hour after midnight. My husband and I are comfortably watching Heroes when I felt a slight discomfort due to stomach ache. I jokingly told my husband, "Dada, maybe this is it! My tummy's feeling a little weird..." "Really?/! Nah", he says, "Maybe it's just something you ate earlier. What did you eat for dinner anyway?" I do not remember eating anything absurd the whole day except for tinolang monggo and malunggay I had for dinner. Minutes after the pain escalated and I thought I was just having a bad case of diarrhea as soon as I finished making pooh-pooh. "Boo, are you sure you're alright? We can go to the hospital now if you want." I told him I'm okay, "Let's go to sleep". At two in a halcyon Saturday morning, while I was grimacing in pain, my husband while seriously contemplating in the driver's seat, gave me a quick look as if to say "I told you so."
I have an extremely low tolerance for pain. My irrational fear, besides being claustrophobic, includes anything sharp especially needles, syringes, and uh, hospital needles. Not wanting to risk myself and my baby, I decided to go for painless labor and had an epidural anesthesia. It is an advance in pain management during labor, which ensures that a pregnant woman has a comfortable labor by taking away 90% of pain as it works as a regional anesthesia in which an anesthetic drug is injected near the spinal cord in the spinal canal. True enough, it worked like what it guaranteed. I blissfully succumb to sleep, relieved that instead of feeling the intensity of pain I can collect zzzzz's for a moment and muster enough strength for the next hurdles.
Five hours past, from the labor room I was wheeled to the delivery area and there I was stripped from being aware of anything shameful. Despite my frailty, my legs apart and with many watching my physical nakedness, I was determined and raring to let my little angel come out to life. I pushed her through my last breath; until my face turned dark; until my heart almost stopped from air deprivation. But to no avail. I spent another two hours helping her force her way through me but my labor was worthless. After an hour and a half of extended effort, the baby did not come out and from there I was taken to the operating room to undergo a caesarian delivery. At 3:58 p.m., as I was groggy and numb waist down, a loud cry filled the room and at that moment there are not enough words to expound the emotions that overwhelmed me. I softly cried. She was ours -- a significant consequence of love and admiration, a beautiful being, so pure and divine. That was all I remember as I fall back to sleep. But as a mother, it was everything for me to treasure.
Contrary to what I had expected the whole delivery was not a horrific experience at all. My fears did not make it any better but it was not so bad either. Our little angel had to stay in the hospital for a week due to suspected pneumonia but thankfully she is more than okay now. Akira Yoko Du-Chua is finally going home tomorrow.